Are You Disappointed With Your Life?

disappointThis is a brutally tough question to ask oneself. It’s tough because for many the answer is that you have fallen short of what you had hoped to accomplish as a spouse, partner, parent, friend or professional. Implicit in this question is that we each have self-awareness of our goals and are honest enough to give ourselves a “report card” of where we are. Most of us are not very self-aware. Maybe there’s some benefit in that. If you have no expectations or goals, then you can’t be disappointed.

There are obviously several dimensions of “success”:

1. Relationship with spouse/partner, if in a relationship
2. Relationship with children, if you have them
3. Relationships with other family members and friends
4. Financial Status
5. Accomplishments
6. Community and spiritual involvement

We each rank the importance of this list based on our values and where we are in our lives. The ranking may change over time, and that’s understandable. Our “happiness” on these dimensions is based on our own sense of well-being. But I also suggest that this list is meaningless without health, the most important dimension and one which we have (some) control over. If one has health, there is hope and time to fix the areas of one’s life where you are disappointed.

We all deserve a “mulligan” in areas where we have fallen short, with the hope that those who are disappointed in how things have turned out so far, will do something about it to change their path. We all have far more control of our lives than we sometimes think.

Here’s my 2 cents on simple things we all can do.

1. Get healthier—obviously not easy for those with a disease, but investment in one’s own health is paramount. Exercise, proactive wellness, and healthier eating are all part of this. It’s tough, I know first-hand. Weight control is a tough one for many, me included.

2. Finances—Unless you are Warren Buffet, there will always be someone who has more coin than you. That’s OK. Don’t worry about it or compete with it. There’s no benefit to be obsessed with jealousy of those who have bigger pocketbooks. Get comfortable with your ability to fund a lifestyle appropriate to your means. And please don’t overspend, putting yourself in debt, and then take desperate actions to “solve” a problem that was self-created. For everyone at all economic strata, my advice is simple—live within your means.

3. Family—Every family has issues. The only thing that really matters is how you deal with the issues. You don’t get to choose your family, and family is not forever, as we all painfully know or someday find out.

4. Friends—On the other hand, while you don’t get to choose family, you do get to choose your friends. Choose wisely. Value all relationships and long term relationships in particular.

5. Do something meaningful—That’s hard to define. Could be something spiritual or voluntary, but do something that makes you feel that you’ve contributed to something bigger than yourself.

6. Give-Give selflessly of your time and treasure. Help others. Give without any expectations or any quid pro quo. It feels good.

In the end when you look at yourself in the mirror and think deeply about your life, I suspect there are things all of us would like to change. So set and plan and do something about it. Not soon. Today.

More Strumings


  1. Diane tuppeny says:

    Great article, Lonny! Thx for sharing! Hope life is treating you well. Best, Diane

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