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Thank you, Mr. President.

Mr. President, you have been an inspiration to every American citizen and people throughout the world. And we are thankful.

Thank you for letting us know that President Obama was not born in the U.S., and therefore was not a legitimately elected President

Thank you for telling us that Mexicans are rapists.

Thank you for the Muslim ban.

Thank you for the wall that Mexico built for us

Thank you for reestablishing tight relationships with Russia, our kindred spirits.

Thank you for reminding us that Vladimir Putin is a man of integrity whose statements are to be trusted.

Thank you for reminding us our intelligence agencies are not to be trusted, and furthermore that any one in civil service before 2016 was not to be trusted.

Thank you for firing trusted public servants who chose not to kiss your ring

Thank you for bringing to DC “the best people” who in fact were far from the best and you then you fired along the way.

Thank you for reestablishing the United States as the beacon of liberty throughout the world.

Thank you for helping us understand that the world’s strong men are in fact great leaders to be admired and that our former allies are all weak

Thank you for recognizing that climate change is a hoax and that we did not belong in the Paris Accord

Thank you for slashing taxes of the wealthiest Americans who need it least.

Thank you for trying to eliminate healthcare for the poorest Americans who need it most

Thank you for pointing out there were many fine people in a group in Charlottesville who chanted “Jews will not replace us”

Thank you for galvanizing more than 81 Million American citizens to vote against an incumbent, the most ever.

Thank you for creating doubt in a well-orchestrated election in trying times

Thank you for pardoning men like Manafort, Flynn and Stone—great men all

Thank you for paying a porn star $130,000, and covering it up.

Thank you for providing a peak at your taxes so we too can see how to make millions while declaring bankruptcy

Thank you for helping us realize that COVID-19 is no more than a common cold, which was going to just go away and that we should just tough it out and be on with our lives.

Thank you for creating a common language throughout the world where the word Trump means “Ugly American” in every language.

Thank you for mocking people with disabilities

Thank you for trashing the Georgia Republican leaders so much that you got BOTH democratic Senators elected, no small feat.

Thank you for rallying the fine group of true Americans who under your leadership and encouragement trashed the Capitol. And to remind them of your love of them.

Thank you for reminding us that you actually won the election—in a landslide. And it was stolen from you!

Thank you for teaching us the new math where 232>306 and 74>81.

Thank you for your grace in helping the new Administration get off to a strong start.

Thank you for Ivanka, Don Jr. and Eric, Tiffany, all children any parent would be proud of. (No comment on Baron who is still a kid, but there’s little hope for him)

Thank you for all your press secretaries. Each one an example of the integrity of your Administration

Thank you for Melania. Be Best, Mel. How’s your cyber bullying program going?

Thank you for leaving us with an economy with fewer jobs and higher unemployment than when you started.

Thank you for educating me on Body Mass Index (yours is over 30=obese). I am now proud to only be overweight.

Thank you for trashing third world “shit hole” countries

Thank you for helping the people of Puerto Rico with your supply of Bounty paper towels.

Thank you for protecting the health of all Americans against a global pandemic. We are leaders in all pandemic stats & you can take credit

Thank you for Vice President Pence, the COVID task force leader who visited Mayo Clinic without wearing a mask. (Did Mother like that?)

Thank you for TEACHING US WE SHOULD USE ALL CAPS.

Thank you for making me care about politics passionately again and reminding every American about the privilege of voting.

And most of all. Thank you for reminding us that elections have consequences. Here they come.  




More Strumings

2 Comments

  1. Larry says:

    You nailed it.
    Though you left out the bit about mocking disabled people.
    Probably a few more.
    Can’t put everything on the Greatest Hits album I guess.

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